I just completed a course in college that made me want to beat my brains out with baseball bat then stomp on them. It was a news writing course designed to assist those students who wanted to become a reporter. I do not want to be a reporter and only took the course because it was on the list of courses I had to take and was taught at a time I could attend class.

This course required me to write articles on information that the professor distributed to the class. It couldn’t be material we wanted to write about, no, she had to be in control of every aspect of the course. So I was forced to write a three page article about the growing popularity of National Talk Like a Pirate Day. No, this is not a joke, there really is a National Talk Like a Pirate Day and I had to write about it.

The kicker is I couldn’t write an article bashing the Johnny Depp wanna-be club, she didn’t like that idea. So I had to write a historical article on the origins of this non-holiday. For an entire semester this professor officially destroyed my will to write. At least now I know what day I should talk like a pirate.