With parts of the country reporting temperatures as low as 40 below, cold so bad it makes your "skin hurt," there are sure to be dozens of ice- or snow-related accidents on the highways. This means it’s a good time to talk about the perils of winter driving.

No, I’m not talking about black ice and snowdrifts. I’m talking about the idiots behind the wheel who make it dangerous. After all, snow is to be expected and prepared for. In theory, if you lower your speed to 20 mph or lower, you should expect a safe, albeit extended, drive. In theory. Unfortunately, good drivers like you and me share the road with stupid people who don’t know the difference between snow driving and driving during any other season.

This post is dedicated to the five kinds of stupid people who make driving in the snow and ice dangerous:

1. Mr. Grand Prix – Rain, snow, or shine, this guy lives in the fast lane. He walks fast, works fast, eats fast, and breathes fast. To him, traffic is a mere impediment. He’ll drive on the shoulder, the median, or your lawn to get through because, hey, he has to go fast.

When road conditions get slick, however, this guy becomes a human missile. The other day on the way home, I saw someone who had crashed their car in a field 100 feet away from a straight highway during a snowstorm. The only way that could happen is if they were traveling at high speed. Watch out!

2. Ms. Off-road – This person usually drives a big truck or SUV or likes to pretend they do. They scoff at barriers (i.e. curbs, islands, ditches) that keep normal drivers on the straight and narrow. Putting their faith in the power of four-wheel drive, they charge through whatever obstacle stands in their way. Bad things happen when they find out the hard way that a snowdrift is actually a cement barrier. Ouch!

3. Hard-braking Bonnie – Good snow drivers know that when you hit a slick patch of road you ease off the brake and move your steering wheel from side to side. But not Bonnie. Usually a newbie from one of the sunshine states, she feels slipperiness and jams on the brakes. Next thing she knows, she’s caused a thirty-car pileup.

4. Distracted Dan – Snow-driving takes a lot more focus and attention. For this reason, talking on your cell or texting a friend are just not safe during the winter. They’re not really safe during any season. Distracted Dan has been known to turn into Hard-breaking Bonnie once he realizes he’s in trouble. (um, don’t ask me how the whole gender thing works…)

5. Late Laura – Safe winter driving means giving yourself lots of extra time to get where you need to go. People who try to maintain their hectic lifestyle are a hazard to everyone else. Watch out for Laura- she’s usually seen checking her watch every five seconds and spewing road rage at the drivers in front of her.

Be careful out there, folks! If you see any of these troublemakers, report them to us…