A Denver man pushes three people out of the path of a speeding pickup truck only to get struck and injured himself. To add insult to injury (literally), the man, suffering from bleeding in the brain, ruptured spleen, broken bones, and a dislocated shoulder, was issued a jaywalking ticket by a nearby state trooper. Uh… thanks?

Popular singer Rihanna was recently discovered to have allegedly been beaten by her boyfriend, singer Chris Brown. Just as a reminder of how big this problem is, I want to quote a few statistics…

Superheroes of the world, take notice! Forget about the baterang or spiderwebs. Yes, the newest tool in the vigilante’s utility belt is the wedgie- in Salt Lake City, at least.

Take notes and document absolutely everything.

Some airlines are safer than others. Based on data gathered from the FAA, MTSM, and the Dept. of Transportation, the following list shows the five safest airlines based on number of accidents per 1 million takeoffs. These numbers are the yearly average from Jan. 1, 2002 to Jan. 1, 2007…

I’ve never liked restroom stalls. Everything about them is uncomfortable. They are claustrophobic. Well, add another unpleasant feature to the restroom stall. A man in St. Petersburg, Florida is suing Lowes Home Center for injuries sustained while using their toilet.

Stop the presses! Forget about the economic meltdown. Put aside the growing unemployment numbers. There are more important things to worry about. In yet another display of our media’s appetite for distraction, this piece of gripping news made the CNN homepage: RACCOONS INVADE WHITE HOUSE.

A 3.0 tremor in New Jersey. This is just the most recent in a string of oddly placed earthquakes. Midwest. Reno. Now New Jersey. It reminds us that earthquake preparedness is not just something for those crazy folks in California and Japan. Everyone should know what to do during a tremor.