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Emotional elder abuse is not the same as physical abuse, elder neglect, or financial elder abuse, although all three can definitely be linked and can be committed at the same time. Emotional elder abuse consists of:

• verbal harm
• emotional harm
• mental abuse
• emotional neglect
• psychological harm

Emotional elder abuse is usually committed by a family member or caregiver, although it is certainly not limited to them. These people inflict harm by:

• name-calling
• intimidation
• bullying
• trickery
• false promises
• giving the silent treatment
• lying
• harsh, angry words
• yelling
• threatening
• attacking the elder’s feelings of self-worth and confidence
• verbal punishment

Emotional elder abuse can be very hard to detect unless you witness it first hand. Of course, an elder might confide in you that he/she is being abused. In that case, you should ask the elder to document the abuse by keeping a diary or tape-recording the abuse, but only if you’re certain the elder won’t get caught. In the meantime, you should contact adult protective services in your state, and you should file a report with the police. If there is a family member who is outside the circle of abuse, contact that person and explain the situation. There are other ways to determine if an elder is being emotionally abused. Symptoms include:

• depression
• sulky silences
• withdrawn mood
• not wanting to see anyone
• distrust
• not speaking unless the caregiver is present (the caregiver has warned the elder against telling anyone of the abuse)
• decreased appetite
• suicide attempts
• mood swings

If you know an elder who is being emotionally abused, contact adult protective services and the police.

Elder neglect is usually committed by a family member or other caregiver. Unfortunately, elder neglect usually happens because the family member feels overburdened or angered by any inconvenience. Elder neglect is similar to emotional elder abuse, physical elder abuse and financial elder abuse, but it is in it’s own category because it highlights the neglectful actions of a caregiver. Neglect means the caregiver knowingly and even maliciously does not take care of the elder. Neglect usually occurs in the form of:

• malnourishment
• starvation
• under medicating
• not medicating at all
• not seeking medical treatment for the elder
• not dressing the elder appropriately
• leaving the elder outside during bad weather
• not caring for the elder’s physical ailments
• being harsh or cruel to the elder
• not speaking to the elder at all

It’s sometimes hard to determine whether an elder is being neglected. Sometimes it’s hard because the caregiver might try to cover up the signs. An elder might directly tell you he/she is being neglected. If so, listen. Listening is a very important thing to a person who has been neglected. If the elder has not confided in you, here are some common signs of elder neglect:

• being withdrawn and depressed
• losing weight and appearing malnourished
• injuries that are untreated
• injuries that don’t heal
• being underdressed for weather conditions
• being left unattended

If you know an elder is being neglected, there are adult protective services you can call in your state. Notify the police as well. It might also be a good idea to try contacting other family members to let them know of the neglect. Let the elder know you will do everything in your power to help.